Transitions

The precise meaning for Transition:
1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, state, subject, concept, etc. to another change.
2. Music- a. passing from one key to another; modulation b. a brief modulation, c. a sudden, unprepared modulation

I am going through transitions. I would call my transition a forced transition. Why? because I did not have to go through this transition. I chose to put myself in a state of movement(s). I chose to uproot myself, move from friends and familiar places and start anew. In the last seven years, I’ve had a habit of doing this. Moving from one place to another, trying on cities like a new outfit. After a couple of years, the city feels uncomfortable, not right.

I actually like the meaning of transition in relation to music. It’s also known as a bridge. Musical transitions are usually gentle and smooth, even inspiring. The composer usually doesn’t want to shock the listener, but rather take the listener’s hand and guide them to the next change.

We all need bridges in our changes. Someone to hold our hand as we make the next passage. I have had helping hands in some form or another, but regardless of whether I have a lot or a little help, it eventually boils down to me adjusting to the change.

People have described me as adventurous, brave, and even glamorous. Really? I don’t see any of these being accurate descriptors. Behind my back they have probably even called me foolhardy, reckless, and ridiculous. What I see is someone trying to settle into her own skin, her own life.

I knew a wonderful woman in Santa Fe, New Mexico (another delightful place I lived in for three years) who said that when she could find the right home to wear all of her beautiful clothes, she would be in the right city! She loved wearing clothes that were not the norm in Santa Fe. They were fancy. Santa Fe is mostly casual and funky.

I feel the same as her. Moving about is the way I have been able to find the settling down place I am searching for. I have had the contrasting experiences to show me the way I should go.

Some of us crave change more than others. The taste of new and different causes us to feel alive, curious and evolving.  At the same time, I admire those people who have established themselves in one area, be it a profession or a place. They can be pillars among those of us who move about. They can even be touch stones for us who need a place to stay and catch our breaths before the next transition.

Transition is harder than it looks to those outsiders who think I easily breeze from one movement to another. In regards to physically moving, it is hard work! My biggest challenge is finding as beautiful of a place as the one I left. I know I have a bit of the earth sign in me, because the last thing I hold onto is where I live. I have lived in beautiful homes all created by me and my belongings.

I am currently looking for a place to live. It’s difficult and expensive. I want a gas range in the kitchen. I am a cook, and it’s important to me. I want to entertain all the people I have yet to meet and fall into some sort of friendship with. Space is important. Location is important. Finding the perfect nest is a transition that I put great emotion and energy into.

I am also looking for work, probably the greatest amount of effort. In today’s world it doesn’t count that you have years of experience in a field. It also counts who you know. So I have fresh and professional cards printed with my name, certification and number on them to pass out to all the business events I will attend.

In transition the excitement of a new place is fun. Everything looks like an adventure to be explored, especially since I have chosen to return to the mountains! When you are making transitions, you have to continually energize yourself, bolster your emotions when they are sagging.

I wake up in a panic. I become discouraged when I didn’t get the interview. I feel lonely and even question my sanity in moving.

Perhaps I create these forced transitions to become stronger, to dig deeper into my psyche. Perhaps I am exposing my inner world to a reality that must continually evolve into something better.

I’m not sure. I do know that I am ready to settle down. Whatever form this takes, I’m not sure. But the promise I have made to myself is that I will not be moving again for a long while. I want to be among new friends that become old friends. I want a relationship with one man that lasts as long as possible. I want to be known in the community, involved in the community.

To stay in one place requires patience, a nurturing of time. I believe I will discover something exciting and new in establishing roots-rich depths over time, of a life that is more deeply connected.

Other transitions will come. There is always a guarantee of this. I just would like them to be lesser and more gentle.

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About Victoria Yeary

Author Writer
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